When I was 19 I went to see a hypnotherapist. I’d finished college and had set up my own beauty business and was renting a room in a hair salon. I’d always said to my family and college lecturers that I would start in beauty on my own as soon as I left college. I knew I didn’t want to work for someone and when I set my mind on something I do everything I can to achieve it. Everyone told me not to and said I would need to work for someone first and build up my clientele and experience but I knew what I wanted.
A week after leaving college I’d bought everything I needed, registered as self employed and started my business. There was no doubt in my mind that I would, as when I get something in my head there’s no stopping me.
I had everything I wanted and had achieved what I said I wanted to, so why was it that I was sat in front of a hypnotherapist telling him how scared I was of how I felt? I felt stuck and have felt this way for a long time. I’m scared that time is moving on and I’m stuck doing the same things and not getting where I want to get to.
I realised the other day that it is actually a symptom of anxiety. It’s not just feeling like you could do better, it’s a need to do better. It’s feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough. I said I wanted my own business, I then had my own business but I still wasn’t happy, I still felt I needed to do better.
I told the hypnotherapist all of this and he said “The fact that you’re aware of this and are conscious of it means you will never be stuck because it will keep you moving forward and progressing”.
I thought about it after our session and it makes sense. If I really wanted something in life but wasn’t doing anything about it then I’d only have myself to blame. In my case I worry that I’m not going to get to where I want to be but that pushes me to do more because it’s no longer an option. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what I can do to improve my life and make deadlines for achievements. I keep a notebook and pen by my bed so I can write it all down in draft and then write out a proper plan the next day.
This is fine if you’re doing it just to set yourself goals, we all need to do this but don’t let it become an obsession. Don’t let it affect your whole life whereby you’re left feeling like a failure if you do not achieve the goals by the designated time given. Also don’t let it take over your life so much that you forget to actually live your life and instead you’re so focused on the future that you forget the present, the here and now.
Although it’s not a nice feeling, I think I’d sooner feel like this than not be getting anywhere in life but not being bothered about it and not doing anything to change it. It’s just about trying to find the balance between setting goals and being obsessed with goals.