Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away.
This was definitely true when I left the abusive relationship. I thought I was the problem so even if I left him and found someone else the same thing would happen. But this was not the case.
When things eventually became too much and I couldn’t take it any more I went and collected my things and drove away and that was the last time I saw him and hopefully I’ll never have to see him again for as long as I live.
I felt awful inside and thought I looked awful on the outside. However, I went to work 2 days later and had 4 people say how well I looked. They said I was glowing and looked like a weight had been lifted. I know they weren’t just saying this to be kind or to make me feel better because I hadn’t told anyone about the breakup. This just shows that although I felt completely broken inside it was actually exactly what I needed and me walking away was the start of me healing.
Sometimes you’re carrying this weight that you don’t even realise you’re carrying and you just need to let go and other people will probably notice the difference in you before you notice it yourself. My colleagues said I was like a different person. They even asked what I’d done differently to my makeup. I hadn’t done anything to myself for me to look different other than leaving the relationship. A relationship which I hadn’t even realised was causing me so much pain.
It was only afterwards that I realised my anxiety and depression had become so much worse since I met him. By the end of the relationship I was a complete nervous wreck. I worried and overthought everything. I stopped going out anywhere with anyone other than him. Everything I was doing was to keep him happy, I’d completely lost my passion for everything. I just couldn’t concentrate on anything and was getting even less sleep than usual.
The final straw for me was when I found out he’d put my health at risk. When I questioned him about it he showed no remorse whatsoever and instead just laughed about it. This is when I finally saw how little respect he had for me and that was it for me. I was done. I never ever thought about wanting him back but that doesn’t mean to say that it wasn’t hard and I didn’t have days where I stayed in bed and cried all day.
I wasn’t eating or sleeping and was actually signed off work with anxiety and depression not long after the breakup. The two weeks I was off were so hard. In fact I’m not sure if I’d of been better off at work as at least then I’d of had something to distract me. Leaving him was really hard and there were times I didn’t think I’d get through it but I did and you will too!
The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, no matter how much it feels like it is at the time.
In fact the saying “A blessing in disguise” springs to mind in my case.